


don't be who you were

by sapphictomaz



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Post-Season/Series 04, Second Dawn Bunker (The 100)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23137678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphictomaz/pseuds/sapphictomaz
Summary: Bellamy's forced to stay in the bunker, alone, for six years. Diyoza's trapped alone on her ship. They find a way to help each other survive, because that's what they know how to do.Title is from "Where Were You When the Sky Opened Up?" by the Dangerous Summer.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Charmaine Diyoza, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29
Collections: Chopped Madness





	don't be who you were

**Author's Note:**

> CHOPPED: THE 100 FANFIC CHALLENGE - CHOPPED MADNESS - QUALIFYING ROUND
> 
> Character: Bellamy Blake  
> Theme: Canon-verse - divergence after season 4  
> Trope #1: Fairy Tale AU - Rapunzel  
> Trope #2: Good guy as a villain/villain as the hero - Diyoza as the hero

He’d wanted to go and get Raven. That was all.

When Bellamy had said so, Clarke agreed instantly. Octavia and Kane had exchanged a look, neither of them able to object to the amount of help Raven could offer the bunker over the next five years. The clock was counting down, but they had just over a day left until Praimfaya would hit. They could make it to the lab and back in less than that, because they had no other choice - it was for Raven. She’d do the same for them in a heartbeat. 

Clarke had left first, and Bellamy had followed, but he’d stopped when Octavia had placed a hand on his shoulder. “Go on ahead,” he’d told Clarke, and she’d done so without hesitation. Bellamy focused on his sister, then, because he’d give her anything. If her saying goodbye would give her the courage she needed to lead everyone in the bunker, then he’d give that to her. 

“I love you, Bell,” she’d said, standing on the tips of her toes to hug him at an equal height. He’d smiled and returned the embrace, because even if she was the leader of the Grounders now, she was still his little sister. 

“I’m proud of you, O,” he’d said, and back then, he’d meant it.

“I know,” she’d replied, her voice low and soft. “That’s what makes this harder.”

And with that, she’d stabbed a needle into his neck and almost instantly, his world became dim. He had time for one last, desperate, “O?” before his knees had buckled and he’d collapsed to the ground. 

He’d been able to see her standing over him before his eyes slipped shut. “I’m sorry,” she’d said, the pain in her voice enough to make his heart hurt despite everything. “I can’t let you die out there. I’m so sorry.”

It hadn’t mattered. It was obvious to them both that neither of them would ever be the same after this. 

* * *

That’s how he’s ended up here, Bellamy gathers, once he’s awoken and discovered the bindings around his wrists, chaining him to the wall of a small room in the bunker. It isn’t the same one that they’d kept him in when he wanted to open the door to let Octavia in, but at this point, he doesn’t think it matters. No matter who he’s trying to save - and he always is trying to _save_ someone - there’s another person he loves ready to lock him up for it. 

In the dark confines of the bunker’s prison room, Bellamy decides he’s getting pretty sick of being locked up in one way or another for his whole life. This decision, while comforting, does nothing to help his situation.

He fights with the chains for a while, because he can, but he gives up when they start cutting into his wrists. After that, he pulls at the chain and kicks at it with his unbound feet, but it stays firmly connected to the wall. There is barely any light in the room, and even that is flickering, making his situation that much more harrowing. 

Octavia comes by not too long after that. “Praimfaya happened,” is the first thing she says, standing at the doorway, carefully positioned so that if he were to lunge at her, she’d be out of reach. 

Bellamy blinks up at her blearily, the sudden influx of light coming from outside making it hard to focus. “Yeah,” he says. “Good thing we’re all safe, huh? That none of our _friends_ were out there?”

He feels bad, but then he remembers she’s stolen his free will. He remembers that she let Clarke go out there without him, that somehow Octavia could reconcile her death when Bellamy still hasn’t been able to comprehend it. It doesn’t seem fair that he gets to live in a world without Clarke Griffin in it. “I am sorry,” she says, “but you were going to get yourself killed out there. That’s what happened to them, and it would have happened to you, and I need you here.”

It’s like all the breath is stolen from his lungs, and he thinks he would have fallen if he weren’t already on the ground. “ _Them_? Clarke didn’t go alone?”

“Murphy and Emori went with her.”

What little fight he had falls out of his shoulders and he sags backwards, staying upright only with the help of the cold wall behind him. “ _Why_?”

It strikes him just how little remorse he can hear in her voice. “They said they wanted to save Raven, but I think they were looking for somewhere else they could go. They thought they wouldn’t have gotten a spot here.”

“Is that true?” Bellamy says. He fills his voice with as much ice as he can muster. It’s all fake, a performance, but she doesn’t need to know that. “Would they have?”

She stares at him for a couple of seconds that last all too long. “No. They wouldn’t have.”

“Yeah. I thought so.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she snaps, patience long since lost. “You’re here now, with me, and I need your help. Indra, Abby, Kane - they’re all helping me, and I need your help, too.”

“No.”

“Please, Bellamy. I need my brother.”

“You should have thought about that before, then.” He turns away from her after this, unable to take the look of pain that she reflects back at him. Seconds later, though, he hears her footsteps depart and the door slam shut behind her. 

She’s locked him in here, in a bunker far below the surface, and unless someone breaks through the ceiling and lowers a rope for him to climb, he doesn’t see himself getting out anytime soon. 

* * *

Octavia visits once a day after that, to try and convince him to join her council. Each time, he declines, and eventually he begins to push it. “I’m a drain on your resources,” he says, “so why don’t you just throw me to the surface and call it done?”

“You know that I won’t. I’m _sorry_ that you’re here but you are here now, Bell, so why won’t you just help me make the most of it for everyone?”

 _Because this is_ my _choice_ , he wants to say, but he bites his tongue. She stole his free will by locking him up in here, and if choosing to stay locked up is the only way he can regain a semblance of it, then so be it. 

Her visits get less and less frequent after that, but she comes occasionally, which is why he assumes it’s her the next time he hears the door _creak_ open. “I’m not interested,” he says, turning his head away from the light pouring in from the door. After being in a dark room for so long, it’s enough to make his eyes water. 

“You sure about that?” a low, deep voice says. The door shuts softly, the light being reduced to the one flickering bulb above their heads, and Bellamy is left in a dark room with someone who is definitely not Octavia. 

Yet - he thinks he knows. “Miller?” 

“I don’t have long,” Miller says, confirmation that it _is_ him. “Octavia has me leading the guards and military presence around here, but she won’t let me come near your cell.”

Bellamy just blinks in response, staring at Miller’s silhouetted form at the other end of the room. “But you’re here.”

He laughs once, but there’s no joy in it. “I’m here to give you this.” Before Bellamy can ask, an object comes sliding across the floor. He grabs it easily, and doesn’t need any light to tell him that it’s an old, basic radio. 

“The bunker is underground,” Bellamy says. “Who am I going to call?”

He swears he can sense Miller rolling his eyes. “Me,” he replies. “Niylah, Jackson and I...some of the Grounders...we’re working together. A rebellion, you could call it.”

Bellamy’s heart grows heavy. “Octavia’s that bad?”

“There are fighting pits, Bellamy,” he says. “It’s brutal. Animalistic. I don’t think she wanted it to go this way, but now it’s gone too far, and she’s in too deep.”

“So your response is to overthrow her.”

“What else would you suggest?”

And - Octavia might be his sister, and he might still hold onto a shred of his old mantra ( _his responsibility_ ), but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand. “I’m not much use to you in here.”

“I’ll get her to come by again. Say you’ve changed your mind, that you’re willing to work, or do whatever it takes. She’ll throw you in a fighting pit soon, and as good as you are, there’s no way you’ll survive that.”

Bellamy holds the radio in silence for a few seconds in his hand. He thinks of how Clarke’s already dead, how so many of his friends are gone, and then shakes his head. “I can’t,” he says. “If she condemns me to death, so be it.”

“Fine,” Miller sighs. “Keep it, if you change your mind. I hope you live long enough to do that.” Without another word, Miller leaves as quietly as he came in. 

* * *

Sometimes Miller calls him on the radio, asking if he’s changed his mind, but Bellamy stays locked up in the cell. Sometimes he’ll answer. Most of the time he won’t.

It’s a long, long time later when he first hears her voice. 

At first, it’s a messy scramble of sound, nothing intelligible in it. Bellamy guesses that the radio is breaking down - after all, it was in pretty bad shape when he got it. It goes silent, and he forgets it ever happened, until a little bit later - 

_“Can anybody read me? Anybody at all?”_

At first, realistically, he thinks it’s Niylah, but - no, he’s heard her voice on the radio before, and it doesn’t sound like that. His mind begins to wander, and he wonders if he’s losing it, but then he replays the words over in his mind and the possibility of hope takes over. 

“Clarke?” he whispers, hesitantly into the radio. 

He’s met with silence. Right - so he really _is_ losing it. 

Bellamy begins debating whether going insane is better or worse than working for his now-dictator sister when the radio crackles again and he grabs it like a lifeline, like it’s the only thing that can bring him salvation. 

_“Hello? Is someone there?”_

“Clarke? Clarke, is that you?”

The response is quicker this time, but there’s still delay. _“This is the Eligius four,”_ the voice says. _“Are you - Are you on Earth?”_

He doesn’t know what an Eligius is, or what the implications of that last bit are - instead, he has to grapple with the sudden disappointment he feels. It’s not Clarke. There’s no way that Clarke is alive. He knows this, and yet somehow it feels like he’s grieving her all over again. 

“Yes,” he finally says. “I’m on Earth. Where are you?”

He thinks he hears the person laugh. _“Far, far above.”_

“What does that mean?”

 _“My name is Charmaine Diyoza,”_ the voice says. _“The Eligius four is the name of the ship that I’m on.”_

Bellamy almost drops the radio in shock, but he manages to recover some of his senses and keeps his grip. “You mean - you’re in space?”

 _“Yes. I am.”_ He hears her laugh again. _“The engines are broken, though. We’re floating with no momentum, but we made it to Earth’s orbit.”_

“So you can’t land?”

_“I have a dropship, but it’s not working right now, either.”_

The situation still isn’t making any sense to him, and he shakes his head to either clear his thoughts or snap himself back to reality, but it doesn’t seem to work. “I don’t understand,” he finally says. “I’m underground, and you’re in space. _How_ are we able to talk to each other?”

There’s silence. _“The Eligius radio has always been its best feature,”_ she says dryly, but then, _“Did you say you’re underground?”_

“Yeah, in a bunker.”

_“That explains how you’re alive, then.”_

“What do you mean?”

 _“I’m guessing you haven’t had a chance to look outside,”_ she says, _“but the planet is on fire.”_

It’s Bellamy’s turn to laugh. “Yeah, I guess it would be. There was a nuclear meltdown.”

_“Are there more bunkers? Is that how humanity has survived?”_

He feels like he’s in a daze as he answers. “No, this is the only one. There’s just over a thousand people here.” He remembers Miller telling him about the fighting pits. He imagines the situation has only gotten worse since then, and adds, “Probably less than that.”

_“Probably?”_

“Yeah, I - I don’t exactly know.” Bellamy’s instinct is to keep his situation a secret from her, but the more he thinks about it, the less reason he can think of for doing so. He’s also still not convinced her voice is any more than a figment of his imagination. “I’m sort of a prisoner.”

This time, when she laughs, it’s filled with too many emotions for him to discern. _“It’s funny you say that,”_ she says, “ _because I am, too_.”

He can’t bring himself to ask, not yet, and takes a moment to find solace in their parallel situations. “Is that so?”

 _“Locked in our own ivory towers,”_ she says. _“How storybook.”_

* * *

After their initial first communication, Bellamy makes it a point to radio Diyoza at least once a day. He becomes the one to initiate communication, since he has to make sure to do it at a point when he’s alone, lest the radio be taken from him. 

He ends up telling her everything, because he truly has nothing to lose. He tells her all about how he’s been locked away and kept out of sight by his sister, who they’re now calling the Red Queen, because even in her most ruthless moments, it seems she can’t bring herself to kill her brother. 

In return, Diyoza tells him everything, too. She explains how the Eligius ships were full of illegal labour, and that she, along with the rest of the crew, were kidnapped and shipped away to a lunar mining expedition before any of them had a chance to escape. On the way back to Earth, one of the engines had lost power, meaning the journey would take decades, so the entire crew placed themselves in cryosleep. 

_“My pod stopped working,”_ she’d explained. _“I don’t know why, but I couldn’t get it to start again. The entire ship is breaking down. It’s a wonder that life support is still working.”_

“Do you think that you’ll be able to fix the dropship?” he asks.

 _“I think so. It will take time.”_ A pause, and then - _“Do you know anything about the large, ring-shaped ship up here?”_

Bellamy’s brain processes that for a second, and then a nostalgic smile slips onto his face. “Yeah, that’s the Ring. It was part of a large space station called the Ark, where humanity survived when the first apocalypse happened. The Ring is all that’s left.”

_“Right, so people were on it a while ago? As in, it’s not used anymore?”_

“No,” he says, “everyone on the Ark came down to Earth. The station is dormant.”

_“Interesting you say that, because the lights are on.”_

* * *

It becomes simple, after that. 

Once Diyoza fixes her dropship, she’d used it to enter the Ring and rescue whoever it was that had made it there. Then, they’d come down, get the rest of the crew out of cryosleep, and open the bunker, forcibly if they had to. Bellamy would help her and the rest of the Eligius crew in whatever way he could. 

_“I’ll break you out of there,”_ she says, _“one day or another.”_

“I’m looking forwards to it,” he replies, and he can’t stress how much he means it. 

He’ll never admit it, not out loud, but there was one night when, long after he and Diyoza had stopped talking for the night, when the radio had crackled again. 

_“Bellamy,”_ he’d heard, _“It’s day-”_ And that was all; the radio had crackled out soon after. Still, he’d known. He’d known that that voice did not belong to Diyoza. He’d recognize that voice anywhere. 

“Clarke?” he whispered into the radio, but all he was met with was silence. 

It’s been years, he thinks, and he must be well and truly losing it. 

* * *

He doesn’t get any warning the day that Diyoza descends from the sky. The reason for this, he doesn’t know, but when he hears the distinct rumbling above them, he knows in his heart exactly what’s happening. 

The chains rattle as he pulls on them, more out of habit than anything else. He’s been locked away for six years or so - he stopped counting, after a while - but it doesn’t feel any less dehumanizing. Every so often, Octavia would come and allow him to walk through the bunker, or he’d be taken to watch a brawl in the fighting pit, or he’d receive a plethora of visitors, but it didn’t change the fact that he’d been locked in a room for six years, and today it may all come to an end. 

He hadn’t planned on how he’s going to break out of the chains, but as it turns out, he doesn’t have to think for long. Miller barges into the room, throwing the door open and sliding a key into Bellamy’s restraints. They fall to the floor with a _clatter_ , and Bellamy rubs his wrists absentmindedly, staring at Miller in shock.

“Something big is happening,” he says. “Above us - I think someone is opening the bunker.”

Bellamy only smiles, the oddest sense of satisfaction filling his chest. “I know.”

“You _know_? How do you-” Miller stops, glancing over at the corner, eyes landing on the radio that’s now visible with the added light. “You should have destroyed that thing. You know that we stopped any kind of mutiny after the first year.”

“ _You_ did,” Bellamy replies. He grabs the radio and holds it firmly, feeling pride as he does so. Then, stretching his legs, he strides past Miller and out the door, forcing him to follow. 

Miller just scoffs. “How did _you_ do this? You had a radio.”

“Yeah,” Bellamy says, “and that was enough.”

Bellamy’s briefly worried that he’ll attract attention, but there’s a mad rush of people to get to the epicentre of the noise and nobody gives him a second look. He joins in with the throngs of people, and finds his way to the fighting pits, where the ceiling is opening up before their very eyes. 

Octavia’s there, in the centre of things. Her eyes, once fixated on the ceiling, lock on him as he approaches. “You aren’t supposed to be here,” she says. Her voice, so much different than what he remembers it being, sends shivers down his spine. 

“None of us are,” he reminds her. 

Before he can say another word, a light he hasn’t seen in six years enters the bunker, and he shields his eyes before he’s blinded. Before long, a face appears above them, the sunlight giving their head a halo. Bellamy doesn’t recognize them, but at the same time, he knows exactly who it is. 

“Diyoza!” he calls, and then lifts the radio up and says, “Diyoza. Let down your rope.”

He hears an all too familiar laugh from above, and then a long rope comes crashing down into the bunker, an open invitation for anyone to grab. He’s about to turn to Octavia, maybe in victory, or maybe in sympathy, when another voice sounds on the radio. 

_“Bellamy? Is that you?”_

He has to stop his hands from shaking as he stumbles back in shock. “Clarke?” he whispers. 

_“You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice,”_ she replies. All that time ago, when he thought he’d heard her voice on the radio - he hadn’t been crazy. She’d really been out there, surviving, like she always did. 

He’s about to respond. There’s so much he could say, but then - he’s not prepared for Octavia to grab the radio and throw it to the ground, smashing it into pieces. He can vaguely hear voices above them, but they’re too far away to make out anything coherent. 

“No,” Octavia says, softly, but then much louder, she says, “No! Wonkru will not be leaving! We have survived down here, and we will continue to do so. This is our _home_!”

Maybe she’s scared of Clarke. Maybe she’s scared of not being in control. Maybe, and most likely, she’s simply scared of taking responsibility for the atrocities she’s committed. Either way, Bellamy can hear the dissent in the crowd, and he knows Octavia’s lost her hold on her people, now that there’s a way out. 

“You can stay,” he says, reaching forwards and putting a hand on the rope, “but I’m leaving.”

“I won’t let you,” she says, unsheathing the sword that has lied dormant at her side the entire time. 

“You’ll have to kill me.”

“And _what_ ,” she hisses, “makes you think that I won’t? That I’m not capable?”

Bellamy looks at her, he really tries to _look_ at her, tries to see any piece of her that’s still his sister - but there’s nothing. _Your responsibility_ , his brain tries to tell him for a second, but he knows that can no longer be true. The person standing in front of him is the Red Queen. Octavia is long since gone. 

“You could have killed me at any point for six years,” he whispers. “You won’t do it now.”

He grabs the rope with his other hand and pulls, wrapping his legs around it when he feels tension on the other side. Slowly, he’s pulled up and out of the bunker, leaving Octavia standing alone with a very angry crowd.

* * *

He’s met by Clarke and Diyoza first. 

Diyoza’s the one to offer her hand and pull him up when he reaches the top. She’s stronger than she looks, and pulls him over without difficulty. “Nice to finally meet you,” she says. “Sorry for the delay.”

“Thank you,” is all he can think to say. “Just - thank you so much.”

She nods, and then gestures behind her. At least fifty others stand there, most of them holding onto the rope and helping Diyoza pull. “There are two hundred more still in cryo,” she says. “We’ll need your help, of course, but - we’re here to help you all, too.”

Bellamy smiles, grateful. “I hope we can build a new society together.”

“Yeah,” she says, “I really hope so, too.”

He turns, getting out of the way so the next person can be pulled up, when Clarke rushes up and throws her arms around him. He stumbles back only slightly, but then he’s pulling her in close, tears welling in his eyes as they embrace. 

“I missed you, so much,” she says, wiping away a tear of her own when they finally break away. 

His hand stays on her shoulder, a physical reminder that she is actually alive and in front of him, and not the side effect of six years in a dark cell. “I thought you were dead,” he whispers. 

“The nightblood worked,” she says, and they both smile, brighter than they have in a long time.

He manages to look away from her for just a second, and sees the rest of his friends gathered - Raven, Monty, Harper, Emori, and Murphy. “You all made it,” he whispers, and then before he can stop himself, he lets out a loud cheer of celebration. 

“It’s all thanks to Diyoza,” Raven says. “We made it up to the Ring, but we had no fuel. If she hadn’t come - we’d still be there.”

He hugs and greets each of them, and afterwards, he throws an arm around Clarke’s shoulder and holds her close, looking at Diyoza and her crew fondly. 

“She’s the hero,” Clarke agrees, “and - so are you.”

He watches Diyoza in silence for a little longer before they all go over to help. Bellamy isn’t sure how he knows, but deep in his heart he has the feeling that they’re about the enter the longest period of peace that any of them have ever known.


End file.
